How to know what advice you should take

"When you receive sound pieces of conflicting advice, how do you know to which to listen?"

This anonymous question came in from my most recent call for questions and it feels a little bit ironic to offer advice on what/whose advice to take.

Yet, I'll try because I know this is a quandary we all face at one time or another.

First, story time (which hopes to offer some context for my advice):

I started my first business at the ripe old age of 25. The upside to my youthful naivete was that I was strong-headed enough to think I could do it. That is, to dive headfirst into the payment-processing industry, a crowded, competitive, and shady arena.

The downside was that this zeal had me forging ahead without seeking or taking the advice of others. Fast-forward to a couple of years later when my company nearly went under (twice) and I realized it was time to look around me for sage counsel.

If you don't want to find yourself in a position like I was, blindsided and basically starting over to rebuild the company, it may be worthwhile to consider that you can't know it all.

One of my favorite expressions is "You can't see the spot on which you stand." But those around you can. Throughout the course of the growth of your business, there will never be a shortage of people with opinions. They'll have ideas about the product or service, your managing style, pricing, operations, office space, sales strategy -- you name it.

So how do you cut through the noise and focus on the right chatter? Here are five tips for specific ways to weed through the feedback:

1. Define a road map.

It's imperative to have a clear map before you let too many voices enter the conversation. While your route may change, start with a clear definition of your company's mission, vision, and goals, so you can use them as mile markers when you begin to let in trusted advice.

2. Open up.

Admitting to yourself that you can benefit from outside advice is critical. Unless you're open to the suggestions of others, you'll ultimately waste your energies and likely burn bridges if you can't take in the advice you seek out.

3. Identify weak points.

It may not be fun to identify our areas of opportunity, but it's important so that they don't become blindspots. When you're honest with yourself, you will begin to recognize that perhaps you're not so great at accounting, employee management, recruiting, and/or online marketing. And maybe you don't know how to keep a modicum of balance in your life.

Think about the tasks in the day that you hate doing or that cause you to procrastinate: These tend to be your areas of weakness.

Seek out trusted advisors who can share valuable advice with you because that's their specialty. This might include consulting a coach or those who are generous of spirit and just willing to share their wisdom freely.

According to research cited in this Inc. article, 39% of executives use one-to-one coaching. It's not bad to be vulnerable and admit that you have areas that can be improved and then seek out counsel to do so.

4. Manage relationships.

Once you've begun to identify the holes in your skill sets, make arrangements to manage the relationships you're beginning. You may invite these selected people to be on your board (formally or an informal personal board of advisors). You could join or create a mastermind group and participate in a professional organization with people with the strengths you're lacking, or hire someone.

You can create structure for the conversations you're seeking out as well as set up accountability systems so you progress in sync with these teachings. Don't seek advice from anyone if you're unwilling to carve out the time to do something about it. In many cases, the expression of gratitude comes with the follow-up.

5. Rethink mentors.

The term "mentor" often evokes images of a white-haired sage behind a big mahogany desk imparting advice to a younger individual.

I generally think of mentors as people to whom you naturally gravitate, those who can offer resources and advice. In many cases, there's never an official definition of the mentoring relationship. And I think there are 5 styles, not 1. 

Perhaps you turn to someone when you're in need of guidance. It's a gut reaction and a natural chemistry. Continue to invest in relationships like these because the deeper someone like this gets to know you and your business, the more likely they are to offer sound feedback.

6. Get out the weed wacker.

Unsolicited feedback may arrive from lots of directions -- from family, friends, employees, customers, and even vendors. Each source should be responded to individually. You'll have to recognize the intention behind each piece of feedback and weigh how it fits into your company's goals.

If you allow all these voices to have a seat at the table, you'll become overwhelmed by analysis paralysis. You won't be able to make any decisions because you'll be weighing everyone's inputs.

Family and friends will often speak from a place of concern for you and this might align with fear. Their best intentions result in prompting needless concern or doubt on your part.

Choose where to create boundaries. For customers, create intentional feedback loops that allow for their sharing with you. Decide beforehand when and how you'll respond and what you'll do with the information. Sometimes it's best to select time frames for soliciting this advice like during an annual survey. Determine what you'll do with remarks that come through your website or via social media.

As with any other part of your business, have a game plan.

Recognize that some vendors are simply trying to sell you something on their agenda, whereas others truly will have your best interest in mind. Ideally, you'll pre-identify your inner circle (perhaps your attorney, banker, accountant, bookkeeper, or financial advisor) and then be able to choose which, if any, of the other inputs are useful to you.

Brené Brown recommends writing the names of people whose opinions matter to you on a small note card and keeping it in your wallet. Include the people who love you despite your imperfections, she said. Otherwise, some people end up steamrolling over opinions that do matter and focusing on those that don't.

7. Seek referrals and outsource tasks.

You've already identified the areas that cause your procrastination. So ask for a referral from a trusted person in your inner circle and get an issue off your plate! The moment you give that task away to a trusted employee or outside vendor, you'll be able to reallocate time and brain space to something else in your business.

If you don't have a firm understanding of your company's goals, mission, and vision, you'll be more susceptible to the input of those around you. Just because someone in your circle is a customer or works for you doesn't give him/her/them license to tell you how to navigate your ship.

Once you have that defined, open up to the idea that there's room for personal and business improvement. After you've identified those points, seek out counsel in a number of ways and refine how you manage those relationships. Lastly, identify what to do with the extraneous commentary that will inevitably abound and create boundaries. This approach to feedback will help your confidence grow and your business will benefit.

If none of my advice resonates, then trust yourself, because that's your best wayfinder of all!