Finding the Balance You Need
“Work-life balance is by far my biggest challenge,” said the man I’d just met at a recent event. He continued, “I bet you feel the same way?” despite knowing little about me.
I squirmed a bit, feeling good about my forthcoming answer but slightly awkward to burst his bubble that I wouldn’t join him in this impromptu ‘work-life balance strugglers anonymous’ meeting.
I replied, “no. I used to struggle with that a lot. But it wasn’t working for me. So I shifted and don’t struggle with it much anymore.”
The look on his face read that he either didn’t believe me and/or that he was shocked by my admission. Like he’d seen a rare beast in the wild about whom he’d heard tales and now was marveling at the sight of one.
We talked for a bit about what had changed and how. After departing, I reflected on our interaction and drew a parallel to how often this topic comes up with coaching clients, too. It felt warranted to share a little about what I’ve learned in case it can help you tip the balance in a more favorable direction, too.
Stop using the word ‘busy’. When you change it to ‘priority’, you’re slapped in the face with the reality that you get to choose how you spend their time. A ‘yes’ to anything is a ‘no’ to many other options. There are consequences as well as advantages to all of them. When you take back your agency and bring awareness to the matter, you’re then empowered to change your actions if you so choose.
Get clear on your values. Knowing these becomes an instant filter for your decisions. For example, my highest values are freedom, connection, and growth/learning. When I choose anything, it needs to align with at least one, but typically 2 or more of these.
Stop making decisions out of fear, obligation, doubt, and/or scarcity.
Make saying ‘no’ (or variations of it that don’t explicitly use that word) a comfortable part of your vocabulary.
Zoom out and get a 30,000-foot view of your life. What do you desire for it to look and feel like (the feeling part is really important)? What’s the chasm between where you are now and what you desire? What would it take to become the person who has that life? What small step(s) can you take now?
Put into practice (or continue) habits that are foundational to your well-being and longevity. Hydration, nutrition, connection, movement, sleep, mindfulness, etc.
Run micro experiments. You don’t have to make huge changes to see results. Instead, you can make 1% shifts and try things out in bite-sized ways to see how they feel before you go in more deeply.
Do something today. Stagnation and procrastination are your enemies.
Surround yourself with people who a. Are living in ways that you desire and b. Know about your goals and can support you in achieving them. You become the average of the people with whom you surround yourself. Take inventory and change your environments if you need to.
Pick one of these 9 options and start there today. Then pick another and then another.
Sustainable change happens incrementally, and ‘one day’ won’t magically appear. Today is that day.