3 steps to get unstuck and find success on your terms
what does success mean to you? seriously. on your terms, and no one else’s.
i’m sure you’re familiar with the expression “keeping up with the jones’" (now the kardashians might be a better sub for jones’). have you ever considered whether or not you’re "keeping up" when it comes to your life and career? stick with me because often it’s not as obvious as it might seem....
about 10 years ago, i was in a stage of growing my businesses where i was buying into the hype that success looked like burnout and that i should “sleep when i’m dead” if i wanted my company to thrive.
spoiler alert: that didn’t work for me. i was not at my best, and as a result, my relationships, health, and companies suffered. but i was bewildered because that’s what it takes to be successful, right? success looks like:
- having a bigger company
- more zeros in my bank account
- delaying gratification until retirement
but i was missing life in the interim and knew deep down that all we are promised is this moment, not tomorrow, and certainly not 30 years from now.
so how does a goal-oriented, hyper-driven person like me balance that with this awareness?
you begin to define success for yourself, and start moving each of your steps in its direction, appreciating each one you take along the way.
if aspects of your life and career are not fulfilling, take this time to stop and consider where you’re “keeping up”.
perhaps you were told “not to quit”, that “bigger is better” (house, car, income, company), acquiring more things creates happiness, or that these are just the things you have to endure to “make it”.
have you ever taken a step back to consider what would really bring you ongoing happiness or fulfillment?
maybe it’s working less and spending more time with your family and friends. perhaps it’s traveling more, or building a company that really makes an impact. maybe it’s employing people and giving them a meaningful livelihood.
before you spend one more day living out other people’s definitions of success, coasting, settling, or giving up, stop and brainstorm what success really means for you.
as an example, for me it means freedom of how i spend my time as well as that i’m fully expressing my gifts in the world in service to others. so, all of my energy goes to reverse-engineering my life to build towards my metrics of success.
what are yours?
being intentional about how you define and seek success for yourself and not letting others around you passively define it could be the key determiner for you towards achieving what you desire.
here are three steps to help you with this discovery process:
spend some time with your thoughts and write out everything that comes to mind as true success for you. it may take some time to get past the expectations of your family and friends. keep digging. write out what comes up for all areas of your life: health, partner/spouse, friendships, family, spirituality, business/work, recreation/play, hobbies/passions, home, money, etc.
afterwards, pull out the items that really make you excited to take action and claim as what you want your successful life to look like.
then analyze: where are there areas which you feel need improvement? where are you already thriving? what step can you take today to start shifting your actions and mindset in it’s direction?
it’s also essential to keep perspective and recognize stressors, roadblocks, or otherwise seem bigger than they actually are. you can verify this by looking back at the things that felt like life-or-death in the moment, but are fairly forgettable now.
also remember that no one is motivated all the time, or at all the ‘right’ times. you will get distracted and your energy will wane. that’s expected and natural. build in time for rest and for activities that bring you energy. i share a lot of resources on habit formation, time, and energy management in this program.