What 13 Years Of Hindsight Has Taught Me
Hindsight is funny and memory isn’t always reliable (just look at data from eyewitness testimonies).
But one thing I know for sure is that when I think from today’s vantage point of 13 years as a business owner back to years 1 through 5, I can say decidedly that I was living in a state of constant adrenaline fatigue and stress.
But I didn’t realize it.
I thought it was par for the course and the only business owners I knew at the time were full-blown champions of that way of life, prostrating at the altar of the ‘sleep when you’re dead’ culture.
I hit a major wall after two embezzlements, when a whale client left (and with them went 70% of our revenue…lesson learned), and when I looked up and realized that all of the reasons why I got into this were nowhere in sight.
At the top of that list of reasons were freedom and flexibility. And while I didn’t expect it overnight, I also didn’t want to work more than a full-time job with no end in sight, neglecting my health, relationships, and everything I said I valued…. Ultimately to make less money than in my previous job.
So what did I do? I began to run micro experiments to test hypotheses about what would be possible for me and my business if I started to release my stress and grip. While I wouldn’t have made a single scientist proud, my experiment did yield quick findings: nothing fell apart when I loosened my grip, stepped away more often, or didn’t call a client back immediately.
In fact, the opposite happened. As I began to revive and thrive, so did my business. And I began to learn how inextricably linked the two truly are.
I also picked up tools that helped me to stay grounded through the natural ebbs and flows of life and business. The tool that made the biggest impact was finding a meditation style that clicked for me. When I did, I became able to somehow both be in my body and outside of it at the same time, able to get an in-real-time perspective on my reactions and decision-making.
My adrenals are still thanking me.