Navigating the Messy Middle: Finding Clarity in Uncertainty

“When you walk in the dark, can you see far ahead?” I asked. 

“No,” responded my client.

“Right. You trust your flashlight to illuminate the next step or two for you. As you take each step, the next ones illuminate.”

This is a metaphor that’s come up in recent coaching conversations when clients want clarity and certainty (aka control and to eradicate risk).

When we put it in these terms, they recognize that it’s not possible to know how everything will turn out. When they look back at important decisions they’ve made, they recognize that the path is clear in hindsight only.

Recognizing this doesn’t immediately undo all the years of craving certainty and control or shut down the fears in our minds that have us spinning. But they help.

Here are a few reminders to consider the next time you’re stuck in ambiguity and the ‘messy middle’. Accept that:

• Confusion is part of the process

• Resistance often amplifies the issue

• The more you can release and surrender, the better

  *surrender doesn’t mean giving up or becoming inactive

• Change is an opportunity for what’s next

• Curiosity is your friend

• Your core values will ground your choices

• It’s natural to want to move through discomfort quickly (challenge that urge)

• You have all the answers you need within (take space to cultivate them)

• Support and community will help you navigate, make introductions, and be a mirror

• Clarity and progress come through incremental steps, rarely all at once

• The path ahead may not be linear

• Celebrating your progress is important

Next, ask yourself:

• What matters most to me?

• How can I align my actions with my values?

• Where can I put focus on what is stable and working well?

• When have I been in a similar situation before, and what have I learned from it?

This phase is not just about getting to the other side; it's about who you become in the process. The clarity you seek may not arrive in the form you expect, but it will come, revealing a stronger, more resilient version of yourself ready to embrace whatever lies ahead.