know this about working with friends and family

conventional wisdom tells us not to go into business with friends or family. i’ve done both and could argue both the pros and cons for you because ultimately, every relationship and situation is different, and there is not a one-size-fits-all answer.

 

if you’re considering doing so and/or are reorienting a pre-existing friend/family working dynamic, consider these tips:

 

only hire/partner with your friend/family if you'd hire them regardless of your relationship. it's easy to consider hiring someone because you know them and they're available, but be certain that you'd work with them only if they are the best fit for the position.

 

get hyper-clear on expectations upfront. separately write out lists of what each of you expects their role to be. talk candidly about each of your needs, things that have historically become issues for you, and how they’d integrate with your team. don’t brush over challenging conversations. treat it like pre-marital counseling where you lay it all on the table.


outline the company's culture and work environment. be sure that your friend/family turned hire fits personality-wise for that.

 

align around a shared vision. are your short, medium, and long-term goals and visions for yourselves, the company, and your relationship aligned? for example: might they hope to move, start a family, or retire but you didn’t know that and it affects your expectations. talk about it upfront and ongoingly.

 

leverage historic trust and knowledge of communication styles. friendships are underpinned with trust so utilize that as well as your historic understanding of how to best communicate with one another.

 

start with small projects first. "date" before you "get married”, so to speak. test the waters before going into a full-fledged partnership or offering a role.

 

set clear boundaries between work and play. create boundaries to define when work ends and your personal life begins. this won't be seamless, but sometimes simply setting the intention is better than not doing so at all.

 

have counter-balancing strengths. individuals don't often possess all the skills needed to found a company, so utilizing a friend who has opposite skills can be a great benefit. look through your pool of friends to see whose strengths counter-balance your weaknesses and then review these tips together.

to healthy collaboration, darrah

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